Yangyang's Beloit Life

I have to apologize that I have not updated my blog for such a long time. College life keeps me busy. According to the statistics I calculated, in the past two weeks, the average time I spent in sleeping everyday is five hours; the average time I spent in the library everyday is 5 hours; and the average time I spent in the room 202 lab in Chamberlin (Science Hall) is 3 hours…That is my life in the past two weeks, crazy, busy, but meaningful. To tell the truth, I even can’t believe that I have survived, and got through all the challenges in these two weeks—four papers and two exams in the first week, and three papers, one poster, one presentation, and two exams in the second week. Maybe that is the meaning of the college life—try to calm yourself down when you find you are besieged by millions of challenges that you think you will never overcome, look for hopes when you feel desperate, and enjoy the realizations of these hopes.

This afternoon, I stayed in the spiritual room for an hour, doing meditation, and talking with Bill, my meditation advisor, and three other students who are also doing meditation in the room. In my meditation, I felt purely relaxed. I introspected myself, recalled the targets I achieved and things I spoiled. At that time, I no longer felt chagrined at the stupid mistakes I made in the economics test on Wednesday; and I no longer felt proud of the high grades I got for the papers I finished in the last two weeks. All I felt is just peaceful, and a pure silence in my heart. I felt it was necessary for me to push myself backward a little bit and pull myself out from the things I had been involved with for two weeks, and look at these things from a different angle. Don’t judge these things because they are the things that have past, but try to analyze them logically. Don’t be nervous about the necessities of getting a conclusion based on the analysis, but try to use your peaceful mind to feel the process of your decision-making. Suddenly, in that small room, where I could feel gentle cold breeze passing through my hair, I found out what I should do at the beginning of the coming fall break—to calm down myself, maybe by reading books for fun, or by watching old French and Italian films, or by listening to Jazz and classical music, or by permitting me to “waste” some time in sitting in a cozy couch with no thoughts flowing through my mind and listening to the conversations of people passing back and forth……